Overwhelmed!

Our lives are busy at the best of times with all the kids day to day things, work and keeping up the house.  This month has just been crazy!  I'm really starting to feel the toll this month has taken on me, I just want to be alone and do nothing for awhile.


I've been busy at work trying to get the year ends for two companies ready for the accountants aside from doing the payables, the payroll, and getting the Lodge's paperwork in order for the sale of the company.  Our house has been turned upside down for the past two weeks.  Last year we had our basement finished but ran out of money to get the basement stairs and a few little things finished down there.  Finally we've been able to go ahead and get the stairs done, and it's looking wonderful but it's been crazy at the house with a workman here trying to work while Ian has his IBI therapy going on down there every morning from Monday to Friday and with Curtis home everyday with Lyla.  Ian has been very hard to manage because it's upsetting his usual routine and of course all the power tools around are really fun for him to play with........climbing up on the table saw!  Ian has also been actively trying to bolt from the house and we've had to put locks up high on all the outside doors.  Plus since the stairs finally has carpet on them, Lyla now likes to climb them so I guess a baby gate is in order.  Aside from that, it has been crazy trying to keep the house clean.  Dust everywhere!  Downstairs is now our living area, the tv is there and a big sitting area and all the kids toys are down there so it's just been hard to relax at all.


Aside from that we had Mother's Day this month, and my mother's birthday.  I was really happy to celebrate both events and happy to get a manicure and pedicure gift certificate from Curtis.  Then last weekend we had the fundraising softball tournament held for Ian.  It was a wonderful day on Saturday and I was overjoyed with the support from volunteers.  It was just really busy the week leading up to that because we were fundraising and trying to get door prizes donated from local businesses.  Plus, I played my first 3 softball games ever and boy was I sore on Sunday!


Now I'm getting ready to go to Newfoundland next Monday with mom, Lyla and Amy.  I'm really looking forward to the trip since it'll be a break for me from all that's happening here.  Even though it'll be busy with the two girls at least it's a change and I won't have to think too much.....I hope!  The problem is trying to think and do everything I need to do at work and at home for us to go for a week......argh!


On top of all of that, I'm also switching Ian to another daycare.  At his current daycare the Owner has been particularly difficult to deal with lately.  Since we required them to have a Special Needs Assistant for Ian at the daycare for 4 hours a day during the afternoons three days a week she's been very stringent on the times he's there.  She's getting paid by the government for the SNA plus I'm paying for his spot in daycare out of my own pocket yet she'll only let him be there from 12-4pm so I have had to leave work early to pick him up.  She wouldn't let him stay for another hour without an SNA plus when Ian's tutor went to drop him off one afternoon the owner made her wait out in the car with him for 5 minutes because they were early!  So now a new daycare has opened in Montague and we're switching on May 31st, the day I'm going to Newfoundland so I have to make sure everything is in order there.


I'm sorry about all the ramblings here but I just needed to download all of this, I just feel like I'm wound up so tightly with all the stuff I need to deflate.


Just breathe!

Mama!

Ian had been saying Mama since he was about 8 months old.  I remember drilling it into his head every time I sat him in his high chair to feed him and Mama was his first word.  When Autism took ahold of him Mama went away, and Dada became one of the only words he'd say, even calling me Dada some days when I'd pick him up from daycare.  Mama started coming back though recently but it has been very few and far between.  Even Poppy is getting greeted when he comes through the door and Nanny and Nana hears their name from his mouth more times than I hear a Mama.


Yesterday, I picked up Ian from daycare.  I saw him across the yard playing around and called out his name, he looked over at me and said "Mama" with a great big grin on his face and started running towards me.  It was the biggest reaction I've gotten from him since we've started taking him to daycare.  I was so happy and started running to meet him.  You could almost hear the inspirational music playing in the background like something from a movie, mother and child running to meet each other.  Then about a foot apart, I open my arms for that big hug and Ian stops dead in his tracks and turns to run the other way.  I finally got ahold of him and gave him a big hug and kiss, which he abruptly wiped off!


My boy said Mama at three and a half years old and I couldn't be more proud......Mama's back!

Happy Birthday to my Wonderful Mother!

I struck gold when I was born to my mother.  God knew that I'd need a strong woman like her to lean on when I was weak and needed guidance.  So many battles she's fought on my behalf to get me through school, to get me through Diabetes, to get me through marriage, child birth and divorce.  How can I ever show my gratitude to someone who's done everything for me without ever been asked?

When my first marriage failed and I was left with nothing, had no home, no money and a child to raise, she was there for me, gave me a home, did everything they could to supplement me so that I wouldn't have to live on welfare.  I often thought to myself, "why is she doing this, I didn't ask for this".  She could've just let me go and fend for myself as best as I could, but she didn't.  She knew if she had the means to help then she wouldn't see me and my baby do without, struggle for grocery money, rent and to put gas in the car.

She dragged me out of a dark hole more than once and never ever turned her back on me.  No matter how much she didn't like what I did, she never gave up on me.  She knew I was better than the life I was living and helped me to see that life can be good if you just let it be.

I love you mom!  I would not be where I am today if it weren't for you helping me to get here.  I appreciate everything you do for me and my family and I hope I never take advantage of you.  I only pray that I can be half the mother to my children as you were to me and that you know how much of a blessing you are to our family.

Happy Birthday and thank you!

May is full of events!

Wow, there's so many good things going on this month of May.  Of course this coming weekend is Mother's Day and I hope I get my pedicure and facial......hint, hint!  My mother's birthday is on the 10th and we're celebrating this Saturday with a dinner out with her....minus the kids.....if of course I can get a babysitter.

Then on the 22nd we're having a benefit for my boy Ian.  Every year a neighbouring community, Cardigan, has an Autism Softball Tournament where all monies raised goes to a child in the area with Autism.  Ian was chosen!  I really can't wait for that event, Curtis is barbequing and will be selling hot dogs, and hamburgers and I'll be playing on a friends team, which should be funny since I've never played softball in my life!

Somewhere during the long weekend....can't remember the date, I'm sorry, is my sisters wedding anniversary.  Then the 25th is dads birthday......59! 

Then finally on the last Saturday of the month we are hosting a farwell dinner and dance for the employees who've been so dedicated to us during my families ownership of the Lodge.  That should be a bittersweet night with lots of emotions.

This will be a good, busy month.  I'm so happy to be a part of so many wonderful things!

The End of an Era

I was 10 years old when my parents purchased the lodge.  I remember that first summer well.  Mom had to rip us out of school early because dad actually purchased the lodge without her permission and now all of a sudden she had to go manage it.

Being only ten years old, I really couldn't do much to help.  My brother and sister were older so they both worked and did what they could.  I was left to explore the new building and visit with the residents that lived there.  Back then it was much smaller and very out of date.  I remember going downstairs to a big, dark, open room with no windows and black and red shag carpeting.  I remember being scared going down the dark narrow hallway to the nursing care wing with a brick wall on one side and the windows of the bedrooms on the other side.  I'd never go down there alone.  Now when you ascend the stairs the big open space is light and airy with big windows to let the light in.  The flooring has been replaced with light tiles and the dark narrow hallway to the nursing care wing now has what we've called, the solarium.  Big open windows going down that dark hallway is now where the residents sit in a bright open space.

It's hard to believe how much of our lives were spent in that place and now with it sold, it's like a huge family member is gone.  When the three of us children tried to go different ways, we all ended up working there.  We all lived in that small trailer next to it and we've all watched our babies walk the hallways knowing that they could sneak upstairs to the kitchen for a treat.  We've watched our last living grand parent pass away in those walls, knowing that we did everything we could possibly do to keep her comfortable in her last remaining years and feeling blessed that she was with us throughout our most difficult times.

For the past 23 years the Lodge has dominated our family conversations.  It's not like a normal job that you can just switch off when you leave at the end of a work day.  We've always turned our Christmas dinners, Mother's Day brunches and Easter suppers into a conversation about the lodge and what needs to be done next, when to give raises, when we can buy new furniture and how we deal with unfavorable employees.  I can't imagine what we're going to talk about now!

So even though the Lodge isn't ours anymore, it'll alway hold a deep place in my heart.  I've walked those walls in my wedding dresses, yes both of them.  Paraded my 3 newborn children through the hallways only to chase 2 them a year later, buried a dog in the back yard and watched my dying grandmother play with my little baby's feet.  So many memories.