tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-51076879808519027272024-02-07T15:31:54.321-05:00Life's GiftsI'm an Autism mom. I have 3 children all on the Autism Spectrum and I have been living with Type 1 Diabetes for 24 years. The odds are stacked against me but I refuse to be defeated!LesleyMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04400365991247170100noreply@blogger.comBlogger37125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107687980851902727.post-46752532944773556662013-03-11T06:01:00.000-04:002013-03-11T06:01:28.980-04:00God is looking after him!Do you know how many countless hours of worrying and prayers I have put into my son Ian? I would worry and be anxious and worry and cry and pray and hope and I made myself sick over it. The anxiety that I had once became so unbearable I found myself at the pharmacy to pick up a prescription, remember I'm a diabetic so I have a lot of prescriptions, and I started crying uncontrollably. Luckily I was in the same building as my doctors office so I went up the elevator and told the receptionist that I really needed to see someone. She saw how upset I was and squeezed my in very quickly. I explained to my doctor what was going on and he said to me, do you realize that most of what you said has to do with Ian? Yes, he was a handful. He put me on antidepressants and told me to get more help and respite care to get breaks from the house. Sometimes that's hard to do for an autism parent. Who can you find that would know how to take care of your child with autism who can't communicate?<br />
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He couldn't communicate, didn't know how to talk, ask for what he wanted or let us know how he was feeling. Do you know how frustrating that is for a mother let alone the child trying so hard to get your attention? He would slam our cupboard doors repeatedly to get attention to let us know he wanted food. He would gouge our walls with anything he could get his hands on like a DVD or keys or toy tools to let us know he wanted to watch a DVD or a show on television. We have triple locks on all our exterior doors for when he would escape out the door when we were sleeping or busy with something else in the house.....we do have 2 other children to care for. Nobody has any idea how hard it is to live like this unless you are living it yourself. Don't even try to console an autism parent if you have no idea because we know you're just blowing smoke and it makes us mad! You can't tell us how to discipline our child, that whatever worked for your "normal" child will work for mine because my child isn't your child and he has issues that make disciplining him do more harm than good.<br />
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During the summer of 2012 my anxiety was at it's highest. Ian was preparing for Kindergarten. We had held him back when he was five. He needed another year of IBI training because he was just too underdeveloped to go to school. Now after 2 years of IBI training in our daycare with his tutor, that certainly was and is a gift from God, everything would change and the security we had built around him would be changed. Turns out, I had nothing to fear.<br />
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Ian is thriving in school. He has two Educational Assistants, one in the morning and another in the afternoon. He still needs the one on one because he can't sit still in the classroom for very long. But, he can now sit for 10 minutes with his peers, which is huge for him. He can talk, we've waited so long to understand him and now we do. There's no more pounding on our cupboard doors, gouging our walls or trying to guess what he wants. He can tell us now and does plus he lets us know that he's listening to everything. He's learning everything his little brain can let him. He knows his alphabet and numbers, he can count to 100. He's learning to read and is doing quite well at it. His teacher, Educational Assistants and peers at school just love him. When he goes to school in the morning, the little girls crowd around and lead him into the classroom. The day doesn't start until he counts the number of days they've been at school that his teacher has posted around the classroom.<br />
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I am so proud of my boy. I'm grateful for everyone who's invested their time into him. My anxiety is gone, I now know I don't have to worry God is on our side and is taking care of him. I'm decreasing my antidepressants and hope to be off them soon. Life is good.LesleyMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04400365991247170100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107687980851902727.post-71351392567627461692012-06-06T09:09:00.003-04:002012-06-06T09:09:56.278-04:00Ian then and now<strong><span style="color: red;">June 6, 2012</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: red;">In red I will give you an update of what Ian used to do back in 2008 and what he does or doesn't do presently.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">October 8, 2008</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">- When playing with cars he lies on the floor and watches the wheels. Yesterday he turned the car over and started to spin on of the wheels.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Ian doesn't do this anymore.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">- Hardly knows any words - Mama, Dada, Kitty, Go, Nana.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Ian knows a long list of words now and can speak 5-7 word sentences. He's still very quiet and sometimes needs coaxing.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">- Doesn't tell me what he wants, doesn't point to things</span></strong><br />
<span style="color: red;"><strong>He's still not a big pointer but he will tell us what he wants.</strong></span><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">- Makes strange noises which he'll repeat all day.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Doesn't do this anymore, talks more instead. Plus he likes to sing songs like ABC's and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">- Hardly plays with toys, would rather get into the fridge, stove or cupboard.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Ian loves playing with his Ipad, Wii games, still plays with trains and no longer gets into the stove, will get into the fridge and cupboard but only to take out his snacks or drinks.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">- Loves climbing things especially stairs.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">He's still a climber, not as bad as before but we have to watch him around the house.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d;"> - Very picky eater, texture of foods can turn him off will only drink milk or Apple Juice.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Still a very picky eater, he'll eat toast with jam, waffles with syrup, rice krispie squares, and sometimes Kraft dinner. He does eat more at daycare. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">- Loves fans, elevators and anything with buttons to push</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">He doesn't stare at the fans anymore, still will push buttons if they're around but what kid doesn't?</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">- Keeps shutting the doors down hallway. (Makes sure they're always shut)</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Doesn't care about the doors anymore, but will shut himself into his quiet room with his Ipad if we're making too much noise.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">- Doesn't respond to name very often. Could be standing right in front of him telling him something and he completely ignores me.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Ian doesn't ignore his name anymore although he won't say "what", but it does get his attention. He's always listening even when we think he's not.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">- When excited he rolls his hands and pats his ears.</span></strong><br />
<span style="color: red;"><strong>He doesn't do this anymore, but will flap his hands if aggrivated.</strong></span><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">November 16, 2008</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">- Doesn't like to be restrained or held but likes to be touched. Likes you to rub his head, tickle him or just rub his legs or feet.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">What kid likes to be restrained? We only do it if we need to get medicine in him or needs something for the doctor. He gives kisses and hugs but only when asked.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">- Watches fans, turns lights on and off, open and closes cupboard doors repetitively.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Again, not obsessed.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">- Looks out the corners of his eyes and shakes his head back and forth.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Doesn't do this anymore.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">- Will put things on the floor, sippy cub or soothers and do circles around them.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: red;">Nope!</span></strong><br />
<br />LesleyMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04400365991247170100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107687980851902727.post-33949896913236124212012-04-02T22:16:00.002-04:002012-04-02T22:16:29.226-04:00It's a New Day!<strong>I was just reading my last couple of posts and it brings me back to the darkness I felt back then. Last summer I walked into the pharmacy and just started crying waiting for my prescriptions to be ready. I was so overwhelmed with my own illnesses and Ian was being particularly hard to manage that I just couldn't handle another thing at that moment. The pharmacy is in the bottom of the Medical Center where my Dr.'s office was so I went up the elevator and asked to see him, clearly they could see I was troubled. I was lucky to get in quickly because I just could not stop crying. I'm not a person who cries easily, I hold it in as hard as I can, I like to look stronger on the outside then I am on the inside because I don't want others so see how truly vulnerable I am. I go through life thinking I can handle things on my own and being proud of how I can handle my life when clearly I wasn't. My doctor gave me a prescription for antidepressants and pointed out how Ian's behaviours clearly stood out from what I was telling him.</strong><br />
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<strong>Since then another blow has been added to my overly burdened plate. In January we found out that Lyla our youngest at 3 years old, has also been diagnosed with Autism. It was very hard for me to accept at first. She was slow with her speech but at that time it was picking up and she was showing ups how smart she was, but I do see a lot of Amy in her at this age so I know deep down that it's there. </strong><br />
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<strong>Even though this might be a burden, I feel so much love for my children. They are my kids, they are beautiful and I'm so grateful to have them no matter what faults they have. We are so lucky to not have children that are struggling to just live, they are indeed healthy. They are so smart it's unbelievable to me sometimes at the things they know and the things they can do. My children are not a burden, the burden is that society doesn't know how to treat them and we have to figure out how to raise our kids to meet with society's way of living. We're also very lucky to have developed a good surrounding of support for our family. I know how fortunate we are to have a wonderful tutor in Ian's life who cares for him as if he was his own. I know how rare it is to have such a connection with the people who are caring for your kids but I do and it's working for both of us. I only pray now that as Ian goes into Kindergarten he'll get another great tutor that'll care for him as a person. I also am really praying that Lyla will get her IBI therapy through Ian's tutor so that she can remain active in our kids lives. She'll always be an angel to us.....love you Ginger!</strong><br />
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<strong>I'm better now, I know I can't change my children's diagnosis but I can love them and be their mother. I'll fight for them and do as much as I physically can for them and hope and pray that they turn out alright. Deep down I know they'll be alright.</strong>LesleyMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04400365991247170100noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107687980851902727.post-87217116874043455022011-08-08T10:29:00.000-04:002011-08-08T10:29:22.664-04:00Feeling Useless!<strong><span style="color: #6aa84f;">I'm in a dark mood today. Mostly because I'm not feeling well and I'm frustrated because I don't want to feel this way, I want to keep up with my children, and work, and life but I feel like I'm stuck like a broken down car.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Last week I had to go to the dentist for an emergency appointment because of an absessed tooth. He put me on two types of antibiotics and is making an appointment with the dental surgeon to get one possibly two of my back teeth out. Then last weekend my fingers swelled so much I had to get my wedding rings cut off, then the next day I noticed my feet and hands were swelling and I could feel fluid in my legs. I went into emerg and they put me on Losec but to take it as needed because he wasn't sure if the water retention was from all the meds I'm taking or something else which will have to be investigated. I took it for three days and I lost 6 pounds of fluid. I haven't taken it for the last couple of days but I can feel my feet swelling and the fluid in my legs again.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #6aa84f;">I've lived 22 years with diabetes with no complications to date, I've been very lucky to be able to say that. Now I wonder if those 22 years have finally reared it's ugly head and will start causing me problems. The past year I haven't been myself, I'm always tired and sick with some sort of infection. It's so frustrating trying to live your life, looking so young and feeling so old, people expect me to act like a healthy 33 year old but I'm not! I've seen 70 year olds with more energy than I have.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #6aa84f;">It just saddens me and I don't know what I can do to feel better.</span></strong>LesleyMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04400365991247170100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107687980851902727.post-63126650465072912192011-07-11T14:13:00.000-04:002011-07-11T14:13:28.373-04:00Hind Sight is 20/20!<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">After writing my last posting about Ian's diagnosis I found a notebook that I wrote in at the time we were waiting for the diagnosis. In it I wrote the behaviours I observed Ian doing at that time, I will list them below as I wrote them back then.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">October 8, 2008</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">- When playing with cars he lies on the floor and watches the wheels. Yesterday he turned the car over and started to spin on of the wheels.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">- Hardly knows any words - Mama, Dada, Kitty, Go, Nana.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">- Doesn't tell me what he wants, doesn't point to things</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">- Makes strange noises which he'll repeat all day.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">- Hardly plays with toys, would rather get into the fridge, stove or cupboard.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">- Loves climbing things especially stairs.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #38761d;"> - Very picky eater, texture of foods can turn him off will only drink milk or Apple Juice.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">- Loves fans, elevators and anything with buttons to push</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">- Keeps shutting the doors down hallway. (Makes sure they're always shut)</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">- Doesn't respond to name very often. Could be standing right in front of him telling him something and he completely ignores me.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">- When excited he rolls his hands and pats his ears.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">- Loves pillows. (Sensory)</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">- Will only interact with you in play if playing chase.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">November 16, 2008</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">- Doesn't like to be restrained or held but likes to be touched. Likes you to run his head, tickle him or just rub his legs or feet.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">- Watches fans, turns lights on and off, open and closes cupboard doors repetitively.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">- Looks out the corners of his eyes and shakes his head back and forth.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">- Will put things on the floor, sippy cub or soothers and do circles around them.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">- Will only play with toys a certain way like some cars that make noise, he'll just play with the buttons, other cars with no noise he'll just roll them back and forth while staring at the wheels.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">- Doesn't ask, point or indicate when he wants something or some help. If he sees something he wants he tries to get it himself and won't indicate to us if he can't reach it.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">I'm putting this out there just in case some parents might observe their children with the same issues but like me, thought it was just normal or just didn't know what it was. This is what Ian was doing, other children do other things that Ian doesn't do at all so the Spectrum is very vast. Autism Awareness is the key to early diagnosis and to the all important therapy that they'll need to receive. I'm proud to say that Ian doesn't do all those things on this list anymore and has much more words. He's finally requesting and pointing to the things he wants or needs and is showing us that he is in our</span></strong> <strong><span style="color: #38761d;">world and is quite happy.</span></strong><br />
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<strong><span style="color: #38761d;">Stay posted to see his latest accomplishments!</span></strong>LesleyMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04400365991247170100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107687980851902727.post-46162133866620788132011-07-03T22:46:00.000-04:002011-07-03T22:46:00.806-04:00Ian's Diagnosis<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Having Ian was a totally different experience for me than having Amy. I was in a much better place in my life. I didn't have the first time mother jitters, and his delivery was a planned c-section, much different than the forceps that forcibly pulled Amy from my body. Even though he did 5 days in the NICU, he was the healthiest of the three newborns weighing in at at hefty 10lbs, 11oz at 38 weeks. I fell in love with him immediately, with Amy it took some time.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I was totally oblivious to what was happening around me that I didn't notice he was delayed. We seemed normal to me, he had these big bright eyes that looked deep into mine, smiled and cooed like any other baby. He reached all of his developmental milestones up to about 6 months, then he kinda got stuck. He said Mama, Dada, kitty at 6 months old, sat during the right time, walking by the time he was a year old. Sure he was quiet and didn't say many words but my mother told me that my brother didn't talk till he was 2 so I figured that he's just a boy, it'll come. I didn't notice then that he wasn't pointing at anything or requesting things with gestures, it had been 5 years since I had a baby and Amy reached all her milestones in record time, walking and climbing out of her crib at 11 months old, I figured couldn't compare him to her.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I can't remember how I found myself at the Pediatricians office. I don't know if it was a doctors referral or the Public Health Nurse, I just know we had an appointment and we were there. I remember the Public Health Nurse asking me if I'd like him to see a speech therapist at his 12 month visit but I told her, he's a boy, it'll come. Anyway, at the Pediatricians office the doctor was asking me lots of questions and had a list she was filling out, I just thought it was standard procedure, there's nothing wrong with my boy. At the end of the appointment she told me that Ian would be placed on the Autism screening list to rule out Autism and gave me a blood work request for Fragile X syndrome and some other disease I can't remember the name of. I really just thought she was doing her job and that he was fine, that she had to rule out Autism, I didn't think he needed to be there in the first place. Now I know how important that list is and how difficult is to get on that list. I can tell you that earlier that winter the daycare was concerned about Ian's hearing, he wouldn't respond to anything around him, even if you were directly behind him screaming his name, he wouldn't turn around. I thought he was deaf so I set out to get his hearing checked. After hearing that it would be a long wait for him to be seen, I brought him to a private Audiologist who tested his hearing and could tell his eardrums were performing normally and that he'd need a much more thorough exam from the Provincial Audiologist who had better equipment. She forwarded a letter onto the Provincial clinic and he got into see them a little earlier.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Finally, the Provincial Audiologist was able to see him. She performed her tests and was able to verify that Ian's hearing was fine and asked if I would like a request for speech therapy since he still wasn't talking a lot at that time. It was sometime between that Audiology appointment and the Speech referral that it finally started to click with me. I was already pregnant with Lyla when I came to that realization. I bought some books and started to read, I saw some similarities with Ian but nothing that really stood out other than not responding to name so I still wasn't exactly sure. We finally had our Speech testing appointment to see where he was with his speech. In between that appointment and the previous Audiology appointment I had learned that we had been put on the Autism screening waiting list, the testing date was a year and a half away! I had also learned that waiting for the testing was only half the battle, if it did turn out to be Autism the wait list for IBI therapy was 1-2 years. I had talked with my family about getting him tested privately to see if it would speed up the process. So when we were in the office of the speech therapist who was testing Ian to see what level his speech was at, I paid attention and saw the list of words that she was ticking off, many of which were unticked. I saw that Ian wasn't doing much of anything that she expected. I mentioned to her that there was a question of Autism with him and asked if she knew any private Psychologist who would be able to test him. She told me she'd look into it and get back to me. Well, when I was contacted by the head of the Provincial Autism team telling me which tests Ian will need to have done to be recognized by our government for funding and getting a name from her of whom I could contact, it pretty much confirmed what the Speech therapist thought about Ian. I called the private psychologist and made the appointment in the summer of 2008. January 2009 at the age of 2 years, 4 months old, two weeks before I had Lyla, Ian was diagnosed with Autism. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I didn't cry, I wasn't surprised, I was just thinking, what do we do next? Later, the tears would come.</span>LesleyMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04400365991247170100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107687980851902727.post-61925728256837461872011-06-19T18:55:00.000-04:002011-06-19T18:55:07.896-04:00Life is Crazy....but good!Wow, it's hard to believe it's been eight months since I've written anything on here. I didn't even remember my account access information or even which email I had used when I opened the account. Luckily, I stuck a link to my blog on Babycenter.ca under the Special Needs community board and it was still there.<br />
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A lot has happened since I've last written. April marked a year since Ian started IBI Therapy and I'm pleased to say he's come a long way in a year. He used to be a child with no verbal communication with limited eye contact and little understanding of what we were saying. Now he`s finally talking, not a lot, but he`s doing a lot of echolalia, which is echoing what he`s hearing. He`s repeating almost everything he hears. He has become excellent with eye contact and now looks people in the eye, not just family members. He also is understanding everything we are saying now and following through on verbal commands. This has been one of the best things I`ve witnessed because now we know that he`s in there listening to us. I`ve chosen to keep him back from starting Kindergarten for another year, I think an extra year of IBI the way he`s been receiving it would be very beneficial to him. It`ll also give us another year to try to get him potty trained....we haven`t had any luck with it yet.....sigh! I have a lot of hope for Ian, and I`m not as afraid for his future as I used to be.<br />
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Amy has had a great year too. This is the first year of school where I haven`t been called at home because of her behaviour or have been told ``her medication needs to be increased``(She`s in Grade 4). I`ve been very grateful to her teacher who seemed to take her diagnosis seriously and took her under her wing. At the beginning of the year we were told she`d have to be put on an Adapted Math program since she was tested at a Grade One level in math. Her teacher told me at our last Parent-Teacher meeting that she has been in the regular math program and has been doing quite well. I have to wonder, did something just all of a sudden ``click`` in her brain (my question mark isn`t working on this keyboard). Whatever it is, I`m not complaining. She`s also shown an interest in art and has been taking art lessons from a local artist for the past 6 weeks. She`s still an avid reader and I try to make sure she has plenty of books around to read. This was something I never developed since reading was such a struggle for me growing up. I was in Grade 7 before they finally figured out I couldn't read! Although she`s doing very well in school she`s still lacking in social interaction and awareness. To me, Ian has become more socially aware than she is which worries me, I hope it `clicks` someday.<br />
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Lyla is my little terrorist now! We`ve been aware of her slow speech development for awhile now and I`ve finally went to the doctor to get her into speech therapy. I`ve been holding out because I know the speech therapist, she`s Ian`s therapist and is totally useless! She`s government appointed, when I complained about her before she stopped seeing Ian for a long time and then we had no speech therapy. So, I`m still not sure what to think about Lyla, `she has great eye contact, understands everything you say to her, follows verbal commands and is making progress on her own with talking. She has developed quite an attitude though and is sometimes worse than Amy or Ian put together. It`s funny how Ian and Lyla seem to be both at the same developmental level, again, it gives me hope seeing that he is progressing.<br />
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As for Curtis and I, we`ve been managing alright, I have my good and bad days. My moods are very affected by my blood sugars though, if my blood sugars are high or low then I`ll be in a very negative mood, which hasn`t been happening a lot. We`ve even managed to take a long awaited vacation together. Thanks to Ian`s IBI tutor who was patient enough to take care of our kids while we were away, we had 8 days away, 7 of them being in the Virgin Islands. It was a wonderful vacation! Very relaxing. Now it seems just a distant dream, like did we actually do that.<br />
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So that`s eight months in a nutshell. I really hope to continue writing this time, I have more time on my hands now since I`ve taken a few months off work.<br />
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I hope you stay tuned!LesleyMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04400365991247170100noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107687980851902727.post-74935486034180341452010-10-31T07:34:00.000-04:002010-10-31T07:34:27.229-04:00Autism Awareness<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Imagine if you will that you welcome a new puppy into your home. You quickly lay down the ground rules of where it will eat, sleep, play and relieve itself. Hopefully within a few months the puppy learns how to get your attention to get its needs met. It goes to the door and either looks at you, scratches or barks to be let out. It stands by it's food bowl to let you know it's hungry. It comes over to you and puts its head on your lap when it simply wants attention and love. Our pets learn our language and can get it's needs met through time and observation, eye contact and gestures.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Now, you bring a new baby home from the hospital. Every baby has certain cries to let you know (eventually), what it needs. To be fed, to be changed and so on. Over time the reflex cries of the newborn subside and you learn what they need through their actions and again, like puppies will learn how to get your attention by eye contact, gestures and verbally. The baby will grow and adapt to its environment, imitating their parents, the sounds it hears and eventually us as parents learn how to interpret our children's actions.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Now we have a break down, we find after a couple of years that our children are not responding to their environment. The do not give us eye contact or gestures or verbal information to get their needs met so us as parents play a guessing game as to what they want or need, just like we had to when they were infants before we knew their cries. Our children seem stuck and we have no way of reaching into them. They might not respond to touch, we can't hold them to comfort them, we can't talk them through a problem because they do not understand. They don't know how to use gestures or any forms of communication to get their needs or wants met and we parents have no idea of how to interact with our own children.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Now if a break down happened with your dog and you needed help, what would you do? If we had access and the money we would hire a professional dog trainer to help us and our dog communicate better with each other. The dog trainer teaches us the dogs language, shows us how to motivate our dogs to do what we want them to do through praise, food or play. The dog trainer explains the importance of timing, consistency, and motivation and eventually we see some slow improvements.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">The only proven form of therapy approved by our government is ABA, Applied Behavioural Analysis or IBI, Intensive Behavioural Intervention and it's very much like dog training. They get them to work for what motivates them and gives rewards when they do what is asked through a lot of repetition. There are only so many PAS's, Preschool Autism Specialists for each area and there's a growing number of children being diagnosed. Our government is willing to give us help but we have to wait for it, wait for our child's name to come up on their list. How would you feel if you were just told to wait while your child screams for attention but can't tell you what they want? Some children wait two years or more for their name to come up and that's precious time lost during the most influential years. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">1 in 110 children are diagnosed with Autism, this is the last day of Autism Awareness Month in Canada. Are you now aware? </span>LesleyMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04400365991247170100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107687980851902727.post-71127061770997494902010-10-27T20:04:00.000-04:002010-10-27T20:04:55.985-04:00I'm Back!After a couple of months of silence, I finally feel like writing again. I don't really know what happened, just got out of the habit, I became really busy and overwhelmed there for awhile when Amy returned back to school and we had to adjust to a new schedule.<br />
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I've been depressed as well, overwhelmed by the thought of knowing that I have two children with an ASD (Austim Spectrum Disorder) and wondering how I'm going to help them grow into productive, self aware adults. I took Amy's diagnosis harder than I took Ian's. With Ian he was younger when we noticed things weren't quite right with him, and then when we knew what we were looking for, we jumped on it right away and tried to do things to help him while waiting for a diagnosis. With Amy, I've been struggling for years with her, not knowing what was wrong and what to do about it.<br />
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My anxiety and depression got so overwhelming that I've had to go on antidepressants. My stomach was tied in knots all the time, I couldn't stop thinking over and over about my kids. I even thought of what the point of living was when my life is a whole pile of crap. So finally, I had to admit to myself that my thinking wasn't healthy and went to the Dr. who prescribed medication for me. I've been doing alright, having my ups and downs, my stomach doesn't hurt anymore so something must be working.<br />
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I think the biggest thing that started changing my thinking was seeing on Facebook that a girl I used to go to Diabetic Camp with as a teen has a son who is Ian's age and he's just been diagnosed with Leukemia. When I read that I immediately thought how lucky I was that all of my children are healthy and home with me everyday. She and her little boy are a long way from home, stuck in a hospital getting treatments and tests almost daily. Even though my life is difficult with my children, it's not as heartbreaking as watching your child sick in a hospital bed and not being able to do anything to make it better.<br />
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So, I know I have a long road ahead of me with these kids but I'm determined to do everything I can for them and just live one day at a time instead of worrying about an uncertain future. I'm so lucky to have them!LesleyMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04400365991247170100noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107687980851902727.post-48335277681652610132010-08-29T13:05:00.000-04:002010-08-29T13:05:43.617-04:00Making myself a priority<span style="color: #e06666; font-size: large;">With the struggles I've been having with my children, it has been easy to forget about my own well-being. This summer I've been living as a free for all and indulging in fried foods, chips, chocolate, ice cream, whatever. Although it is okay in indulge every now and then, it's been a daily event.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-size: large;">While I was over to get Amy assessed for Aspergers, I had my yearly appointment with my Endocrinologist. My LDL cholesterol = bad has risen from 3.0 last year to 3.3. While these numbers aren't staggering for a normal person, for a person who's had diabetes for 21 years it's the start of a high risk complication. So, either I buck up and stop eating crap or they'll put me on cholesterol medication for the rest of my life. While a normal doctor would've put me on meds right then and there, she's trusting that I'll take care of myself but 3.5 will be the final straw.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-size: large;">So, how do I make myself a priority? I'm trying to figure out what I can do to get active that I'll actually be interested and motivated in doing and worth keeping up. I know I need to change my diet so this morning instead of my two slices of toast with cheese, I had oatmeal and yogurt and it actually kept me satisfied for awhile. Now I'm here on the deck with my kids though, eating a bowl of Doritos, but I have to eat them to get them out of the house! Baby steps I guess. I'll try for my healths sake and for the kids sake so that I'll be around for them in the future because my disease can destroy me little by little if I let it happen.</span>LesleyMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04400365991247170100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107687980851902727.post-64258701239920746162010-08-28T11:12:00.000-04:002010-08-28T11:12:11.009-04:00Amy has Aspergers!<span style="color: #e06666; font-size: large;">This is the moment I've been anxiously waiting for all summer long. I sit along side the psychologist waiting for those words I've been waiting to hear to pass through her mouth. "Amy's ADOS score is consistent for a diagnosis of Aspergers" she says looking across at Curtis then at me and continues. I feel a twinge in my chest and struggle to blink back the tears that have welled in my eyes. "Don't cry" I say to myself, "you knew this was coming". So I sit and listen to what tests she did and how Amy responded to them. "Her social interactions are very low and this will be the hardest for her to overcome as she goes into adolescents." I think back and remember how cruel kids in school were to me and think, how can I save my child from that ridicule? She goes on, "plus even though we weren't specifically testing for ADHD", because she was diagnosed with it in Grade two, "I will agree that she does have many ADHD characteristics." That's just great, a double diagnosis I think to myself.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-size: large;">After the results from the ADOS test are reviewed we move onto her learning assessment. We also had her checked for learning disabilities because I know she has them, she can hardly add 10+1. The psychologist tells me what we've known for a year, her math is at a 1.5 grade level. Last summer I had her tested for math privately at Sylvan Learning Center in Charlottetown. They had discovered the same and when I had those results in hand I took them to the school the first week of Grade 3. They themselves had her tested with their own tests, guess my word wasn't good enough, and confirmed the same thing. What did they do for her? Six weeks of Math help and a few adaptations. That was all fine for the six weeks, she did well in the small setting with extra help, but then for the remaining of the year she still struggled, even with a weekly math tutor.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-size: large;">Luckily, Amy has her diagnosis the school will have to give her extra help, I hope. The testing also uncovered that she has a superior level of reading and comprehension, reading at a Grade 8 level when she's only going into grade four. This kind of puzzled me because at the end of Grade three the teacher did up some adaptations for her for language arts because she was starting to struggle with it. Now we know that Amy understands what she's reading but it seems to get lost between her head and her hand when writing it out. Amy struggles to write and uses no grammar. She has limited ability with her hands, she's very weak in my opinion. So now verbal testing might have to be allowed for her, plus she might benefit with the use of a computer, which is highly motivating for her. These are all great things to know. We always knew she was a bright, imaginative girl but in standardized school she fails, this is a girl who needs to be taught in a different way then the standard. I know that if the school continues to fail her, I will do what I need to do to get her the help she needs even if it means homeschooling.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-size: large;">So now my life just got busier and more complicated. I now have two children in my house with an Autism Spectrum Disorder, I guess I always did really. I just pray I have the strength to keep up with these kids and do whats right for them while also keeping my sanity. Pray with me.</span>LesleyMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04400365991247170100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107687980851902727.post-49751498374196647062010-08-20T09:57:00.000-04:002010-08-20T09:57:12.433-04:00A Night Without IanAfter my depressing posting yesterday, my sister phoned me up and offered to take Ian for the night and today. Today I agreed to let Curtis go golfing for the first time this year with his good friend that he hardly sees anymore. I was stressing about being left home alone today with all the three kids by myself because Ian himself is a handful and is always trying to escape the house.<br />
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There hasn't been very many nights that I've gone without seeing my boy. It's strange coming home and not having to chase him around to get him ready for bed. It's also strange to sleep till 8:30am and not be jotled out of bed by the sound of thumping on Ian's bedroom door as he lays there and kicks it trying to get our attention. It's also very nice to be able to wake up and have breakfast and not have to watch the doors to make sure they are latched so that Ian won't escape during the busy morning hour.<br />
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It's a mini break for us to just have two of our children, but even though it is nice now, I still miss him. He's a busy boy but he's so sweet and lets us know in his own way how much he loves us. I'll enjoy this day while it lasts and hope that I get more of these mini breaks in the future.....it's very refreshing!LesleyMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04400365991247170100noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107687980851902727.post-43214008953499644522010-08-19T13:06:00.000-04:002010-08-19T13:06:15.477-04:00WordlessThis summer has taken a lot of things from me. I've seemed to have fallen into a depression that has made me wordless and less productive both at work and at home. I started blogging because I wanted people to see that yes, I have a busy life but I'm okay and life is a gift that's so precious. It seems that my bubble has finally burst and the weight of my problems has come down hard on my shoulders. I now see how truly difficult my life is going to be with my children and that it's going to be a long uphill battle to get the help they need.<br />
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My stomach has been in knots just thinking about it. I think I was fine with Ian's diagnosis because we expected it and we just wanted to know what the next step was to get him help. Amy is a different story. All these years I thought she was just bad and defiant and that everything was caused from her ADHD. Even the teachers at her school chaulked it up to her ADHD, demanding that her medication needed to be increased or changed. Now with the question of Aspergers on my brain, I consider all the time we've wasted on medication when all she really needed was one on one therapy. All the times I've been mad at her when she truly couldn't help herself for acting out. We've put all our focus on Ian and then Lyla because of course she's a baby, that we haven't been able to pick up on these other signs that seemed to go unnoticed. Now that I see evidence of Aspergers in Amy everyday, it's like another stone has been added to burdening sack on my back.<br />
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It's not fair! Why must my life be such a struggle? I struggled through every part of it. I struggled to breath when I was born and my lung collapsed. I struggled through diabetes when I was diagnosed at 11. I struggled through school and felt stupid because I had learning disabilities and couldn't read, which they finally discovered in Grade 7. I struggled through abuse from my peers in school, being teased and bullied and hated showing my face in class every day. I struggled through my first marriage which failed. All of my pregnancies, and then all of my childrens births, they all struggled to breath even when everything was done to prevent that from happening. I just want something to go smoothly for a change. To have a normal child that doesn't need to see doctors every couple of months, just learns from us and has hardly any struggles. Is that too much to ask for?<br />
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I also am upset with my performance at work, or lack thereof. It's like I just have too much to think about at home to even consider trying to think about what to do at work and I've been missing alot of time because I just simply go there and look around in a daze. I know my family is talking about me missing so much work and I feel guilty about it but I know that I'm the only one in our family working right now and I need to continue. The stress of everything is finally making me crack and I just don't think I can handle my life, somethings gotta give.<br />
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LesleyLesleyMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04400365991247170100noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107687980851902727.post-69511469865257951642010-08-11T14:15:00.000-04:002010-08-11T14:15:11.060-04:00Family BusinessThe nice thing about having a family business is enslaving the younger generation into working for you. Here I am typing away while I watch my 14 year old niece, Samantha, sort through my mountain of papers to be filed. Cheap labour too, only $20 for the day where if I had my own personal secretary I'd have to pay them at least minimum wage. <br />
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I hate filing! My brain is so unorganized, how do I keep my house or office organized?<br />
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Luckily Samantha is learning at a young age how to file and keep accounts. Maybe next year I'll have to teach her to do payroll. We all need to start somewhere.LesleyMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04400365991247170100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107687980851902727.post-68155858398756645432010-07-19T13:53:00.000-04:002010-07-19T13:53:41.759-04:00Two Parrots<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I have two parrots in my house now. Parrots as in children that are trying to repeat or imitate everything that I or others say. Ian will be 4 years old next month and Lyla is 18 months old and they are both at the same level intellectually. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">It's kind of funny in our house because we'll be trying to get one of them to say something then the other replies and we're happy if either one does. Driving on car trips we'll make funny noises with our mouths and the two of them will start doing the same thing. If one of them makes a noise, the other tries to make the same noise too. It's also very encouraging for us to hear Ian finally repeat our words. He's really trying to say what we're saying in the way that we do but I just wish he could start saying things more spontaneously and requesting things on his own. He still can't put into words what he wants, he resorts to destroying our house to get what he wants. He throws down all of our kitchen chairs, tipping them over to let us know he wants something. He also bangs the cupboard doors, runs around the house mischievously or now just starts to pick on Lyla.....he likes knocking her over now if she comes near him or if he wants something. Times can be pretty tense at our house just trying to figure out what he wants but mostly we know what he wants but he just can't have it or do it when he wants to. Now that the weather is so nice out and that we have a trampoline out in the yard, he wants to be out there from the time he wakes to the time he goes to bed. We have a nice big fence to keep him in but he's already trying to figure out how to scale it. We can't always be out there to watch him is the problem, we have no shelter in the back to sit under in this hot hot sun and I can't take Lyla out with me for too long. She's not used to the grass yet and always wants to be up in my arms which is hard on my back. I'm looking forward to next year when Lyla will be more stable on her feet and can play with the rest of the kids on her own.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">It's also a relief knowing that Lyla is doing the things she's supposed to be doing at this age. I'm watching her so closely to see if she has anything that I missed with Amy and Ian. The more talking and babbling she does, the better. She already is great with eye contact and is responding to her name all the time. She also likes to show me items and hands me things to look at. The other day she was too cute. I was vacuuming downstairs with this little skinny vacuum and she found her fathers golf club with a club cozy on the end of it and started moving it back and forth on the floor. I tried to get a video because it was too funny, the two of us along side each other doing the same actions.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">It's so strange to watch how these milestones in my children can come so easy for one but then the other has to be taught everything. It humbles us as parents to slow down and pay attention to our children and teach them face to face everything we take for granted.</span>LesleyMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04400365991247170100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107687980851902727.post-45743631545805333792010-07-14T20:07:00.000-04:002010-07-14T20:07:44.819-04:00School's not out in this house!Just because school is out for Amy doesn't mean it is for Ian. His school is here at home and it starts at 8am Monday to Friday. His tutor arrives every morning just as he's eating breakfast and then will take him downstairs to the <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">IBI</span> room we had specifically built for that purpose. It's just a small room with no windows, one big shelf up high out of his reach and a childs table and two chairs. This is where he and his tutor do a lot of one on one activities like pointing to certain pictures or objects on command and labelling items. Some days he does well other days I hear screams coming from the basement, trying to stay calm knowing that he's just protesting against something he doesn't want to do. Even though it seems like it's easy since I have someone here with him, right now I have two other children at home wanting to go into that room and disrupt his sessions. Actually, I'm usually at work when this is going on and my husband is at home because the government requires someone to be at the home during his tutoring sessions. Even if we both were working we would have to pay someone else to just be here with the tutor.<br />
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After his 4 hour session in the morning his tutor will take him to daycare where she turns into his Special Needs Assistant for the next 4 hours. This is not the case with most families, we're paying our tutor top up for her tutoring here plus top up for her 4 hours at the daycare just to make sure we can provide a full time job for her so she can stay and tutor Ian until he goes to school next year. If Ian were a typical child he probably wouldn't be in daycare or at least not everyday because we'd be trying to save money on childcare. For the past two years either me or Curtis has been home to take care of these kids and save childcare costs but since he's Autistic, every person we talk to says to put him in daycare so he gets the social interaction he needs. Aside from those day to day things we also have to coordinate appointments with speech therapists, occupational therapists, pediatricians, and his preschool autism specialists as well as just other general appointments for his eyes, doctors appointments, dental, etc. This is all just for one child, we have 3 to coordinate.<br />
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We're lucky enough to be able to provide this for our tutor and for Ian but I just wish there were some way to make our lives a little easier.LesleyMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04400365991247170100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107687980851902727.post-80139403358228476812010-06-22T11:05:00.003-04:002010-06-22T11:08:47.599-04:00What is a "typical" child?<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">As the mother of a nine year old with <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">ADHD</span> and a 3 year old with Autism I now realize that I have no idea what it's like to have a "typical" child. While I sit here and watch <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Lyla</span> grow and reach her milestones, I have no idea if she's "normal".</span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Amy seemed fine to me, she was a happy baby and reached all of her milestones either early or as the "typical" development chart dictated. She was busy yes but aren't all babies busy getting into everything? There were times when I'd call mom and beg her to tell me when this stage would be over and to name the date so I'd be better prepared. Isn't that "normal" though? At what age did it change from "normal" or "typical" to <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">ADHD</span>? I remember going to her Dr. when she was in Kindergarten and asking for her to be seen by a Pediatrician and that I thought she may have <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">ADHD</span>. The Dr. just shook her head and said "oh it's just busy girl syndrome". I waited for the her Grade 1 teacher to tell me that she should see the doctor but the teacher never did. She'd just complain about her behaviour in class and say that she was a very bright girl and very smart she just had a hard time focusing and would often wander both physically, down the halls, or mentally as her gaze turned blank. After many talks with the teacher and Principal it was finally me who suggested that she may have <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">ADHD</span> and asked the teacher and principal what they thought. They immediately said yes, that's a good idea and eagerly filled out the forms I was finally able to obtain from my Dr. to get her assessed. All I could think was, well if you thought this half a year ago why didn't you tell me then because the Dr. wouldn't listen to just my opinion. A whole year was wasted and now she's behind in school.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">When I had Ian he seemed fine. He was a wonderful, happy baby too and again went on to meet all of his "typical" milestones. He was smiling and laughing and just a joy to watch. It had been 5 years since I had a baby when I had him so I was a little out of practice plus I really thought Amy was so far ahead at her age that if he were lacking in some areas it was just because he was a boy and boys take longer sometimes. When the Public Health Nurse asked me during one of his vaccinations and assessments if I wanted him to see a speech therapist I said "No, my brother didn't talk until he was two so I'm not worried". It was only when we noticed that he stopped responding to his name and any type of noise that we started to wonder if something was wrong. We thought he was deaf and had his hearing checked out. When his hearing test came back as being normal and they suggested getting his speech assessed, then I started to wonder and do some investigating, but it was only after I had become pregnant with <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Lyla</span> that I started to suspect Autism.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Now I have <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Lyla</span> and she's beautiful. I don't regret having her but I worry about her and wonder will she be "normal" or "typical". Would I even be able to recognize what it is if I saw it? Watching her now I realize what I missed with Ian, she is much more advanced at 17 months than Ian was. I see her reaching up for me to pick her up, Ian didn't do that. I see her bring me a toy to show me and passing it back and forth, Ian didn't do that. I hear her mimicking almost every sound she hears, again Ian didn't do that. But now with her growing personality, she reminds me of Amy at this age and that scares me.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Right now I'm starting to wonder if Amy has <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Aspergers</span> Syndrome and am hoping to get her assessed this summer. Luckily, <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Lyla</span> is enrolled into a study of younger siblings of Autistic children so her development is being monitored very closely and will be until she's 5 years old or older. So at least if something shows up, we can react to it much quicker. The Dr. that's head of the study in this region told me that she's very interested in studying girls because they often get missed from a diagnosis of Autism because they can be very high functioning. After I explained to the Dr., during <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Lyla's</span> last assessment, of how Amy behaves, she was interested in seeing her as well. Even though I'm grateful for this opportunity, it's disheartening to think that this Dr. thinks there might be something more going on then <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">ADHD</span>.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">It breaks my heart to hear on the news that they've finally confirmed that Autism is genetic. It just makes me worry so much for <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Lyla</span> because she is my last baby and I want so much for her to be "normal". It also makes me wonder if I had known about Ian's condition before I got pregnant, if I would've even thought of having another child. But now I can't imagine my life without my <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Lyla</span> and I'll accept her the way she is or whatever way she grows up to be, just like I've had to with my other children. It's not easy being the mother of these children but again, is it easy to be the mother of "typical" children? Obviously, I don't have a clue!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia;"><span class="goog-spellcheck-word">LesleyM</span></span>LesleyMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04400365991247170100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107687980851902727.post-18486341026367785922010-06-21T10:42:00.001-04:002010-06-21T10:43:40.301-04:00Amy's birth story<div><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">When I was 22 I felt it was time for a baby. My ex had gotten out of the military to pursue a career with computers which at the time was a very promising opportunity. We moved back to PEI for him to go to school and I was working for the family business. Because of my diabetes I wanted to have children while I was young because I felt the older I got, the more likely complications would arise and lower my chances of having a healthy pregnancy.</span></div><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Within two months I was pregnant. I didn't tell my Dr. I was planning it, I didn't think I needed to and at the time I was on multiple injections of insulin to control my blood sugars. It was a pretty easy pregnancy at first, I was only sick in the mornings before I ate anything, then once I threw up it was over for the day. One night when I was 29 weeks pregnant (I think) I started having irregular contractions. I went to the hospital with my mother, sister and ex and they figured I was in preterm labour, but it was still pretty weak. They gave me medication to mature the baby's lungs and stop the contractions. Then they sent me over to Halifax at what was then known as the Grace Hospital for Women. Then started the barrage of specialists, an OB/<span class="goog-spellcheck-word">GYN</span> who specialized in high risk pregnancies which included diabetic mothers, an endocrinologist, a diabetic nurse, the dietitian and a physical therapist. They did stop the labour but now were working on treating my diabetes and getting it under better control.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">When you're pregnant your body requires more insulin because the pregnancy produces a resistance to your insulin. This is why a normal mom could get diabetes while pregnant but for me it meant, checking my blood sugars up to 8 times a day and increasing my insulin to about 3 times what I would normally take prior to being pregnant, I'd probably give myself 5 needles in the run of a day. So I continued tracking my blood sugars, keeping in touch with Halifax and visiting every 3 weeks for check ups with all of the above specialists. Every time I went I had ultrasounds where they checked the baby's size and condition to make sure she was thriving and she was. I wasn't doing too well with the sugars, it was very difficult to control. The baby kept measuring in the 80th percentile for size. Finally at 36 weeks I started having pains again, we went in the hospital, here on PEI, and was there the full day. I was in pain, the nurses kept saying I wasn't in real labour....sure felt like it! So finally I asked for pain <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">meds</span> and the labour stopped but I had progressed to 2 Cm's and 80 percent effaced so my Dr. was concerned I'd go into labour again here on the island, </span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">and they had no anesthetist working that weekend, and sent me to Halifax to see if I could deliver over there. When I got to Halifax, they couldn't just hook me up to the juice to get the labour going, they had to check to make sure the baby's lungs were mature first. Babies of diabetics can have larger than normal babies because the sugar in the mothers blood could spill over to the baby causing them to get fat. Even though we have bigger than normal babies that look very healthy, the lung maturity usually comes later if under poor control. So I had and amniocentesis where they take the amniotic fluid and test it for a bunch of things but this was for lung maturity. It didn't hurt! Anyway later that afternoon I got the word that her lungs were mature and I could be induced on Friday.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">January 19th they started me on an <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Oxytocin</span> drip at around 8am then continuously monitored me. I was hooked up to the fetal monitor the whole time and I had to check my blood sugar every hour. My insulin was being delivered in an insulin/glucose mix so they had to make sure that the levels were appropriate. My mother, sister and then husband were there with me. I remember my mothers face. She never wanted me to have children because she was afraid of the complications my diabetes would have on me and it showed on every inch of her face that day. I laboured through the day, mom and my sister went shopping for a little while after I got an epidural, love that epidural man! Finally, in the evening it came time to push. I couldn't feel the contractions so the nurse had to tell me when to push. I <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">must have</span> pushed for about an hour and it wasn't really going anywhere so finally I started to panic because I could feel all this pressure and any way I moved really hurt. The nurse was concerned enough to go get the Dr. to check me again. The Dr. gave me the option of trying with a forceps delivery or having a c-section. I looked at my mother and sister, my sister said forceps, my mother said c-section and I was worried over a little scar so I went with the forceps. Then I had to choose who to bring with me into the OR, I reluctantly chose my ex. They bring me into the OR</span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">and they turn up my epidural so that I feel absolutely nothing, at least that pressure was gone. They lay me down on the flat table and put my legs up in stirrups. I watch them put my legs up and not feeling a thing or having any control over them. Now the delivery room is full and I get self conscious. I have an OB/<span class="goog-spellcheck-word">GYN</span> plus her Resident down there, my delivery nurse to my left, the anesthesiologist above me talking to me and two more OR nurses to my right then a team from the <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">NICU</span> of 3 or 4 over in the corner waiting and of course my ex was there somewhere too. So finally they tell me to push, I see my nurse feeling my stomach for contractions I push and can't feel a thing and ask am I doing it right? The mood is light and every one's excited to get this birth over with. The Dr. and the resident navigate the forceps around the baby's head and the nurse keeps telling me when to push, they keep saying it's coming, it's coming to keep me motivated. Finally they head is delivered but oops, her shoulder is stuck. You know some thing's not right when everybody completely ignores the Mom and all available hand of the nurses around me and even the anesthesiologists arms are reaching over my head to push on my stomach to get the baby out. I shout, should I keep pushing and they're ignoring me. Finally, the doctors free her shoulders and the rest of her body is delivered. No noise, she's passed directly over to the <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">NICU</span> team who begin to work on her. I ask why she's not crying, a nurse says she has a heartbeat so she'll be fine. Finally, after what seemed like forever I hear her cry and a tear streams down my face, Thank God!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I found out later that her shoulder was stuck for 5 minutes and when born she had an <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">APGAR</span> score of 1......0 is dead! After I found out from mom and Tracy who were anxiously waiting in the waiting room that my delivery nurse came up to them after and told them we almost lost her.......almost! Her birth weight was 9lbs 5oz and 19 inches long, 3 weeks early! She was whisked away from me and spent the next few days in the <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">NICU</span>, they hurt her shoulder trying to pull her out and she would cry when she moved it but luckily it wasn't broken. She had swallowed a bunch of amniotic fluid on the way out and had a spot of pneumonia on her lung. She was very weak and had to stay in the <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">NICU</span> for about a week hooked up to all kinds of monitors and IV antibiotics. I tried to nurse her but she wouldn't latch so I pumped breast milk for her. She started to thrive and we were finally able to go home with her. I was left with a huge <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">episiotomy</span> which made it impossible to sit up straight for 5 weeks, oh it was painful!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Amy's middle name is Grace for two reasons, she was born at the Grace hospital and the good Grace of God spared her. I can't believe that was almost 9 and a half years ago, she's growing up much too fast.</span></div>LesleyMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04400365991247170100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107687980851902727.post-15887230325782102982010-06-16T10:45:00.001-04:002010-06-16T10:47:05.401-04:00Entitled to Eat<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Right now I'm the heaviest I've ever been without being pregnant. I've never really had a big problem with my weight before now but it's finally getting to me. I know I'm eating through emotions, half the time I'm not really hungry but I still pile the sugar in my mouth. I'm a <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">carboholic</span>, love everything <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">carbs</span>. Bread, cookies, cakes, chips, etc and hardly eat any fruits or vegetables.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I know why I'm eating too. I eat because I feel entitled to it. It's the only thing in my life that I can truly give to myself because I don't do anything else for myself. I get up, get the kids ready for the day, and go to work then come home, eat supper, chase the kids around and try to get them into bed. By the time I get them into bed I just breathe a huge sigh of relief and have a couple of hours to myself which I choose to park my butt in front of the TV and eat.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Why don't you take the kids for a walk you might ask, well the evenings around here are filled with mosquitoes and I hate the idea of putting pesticides on my children every evening. Why don't you go get a home gym or a bike you might ask, well if you've read my previous blogs, you'd see that my Ian is a climber and her would eventually hurt himself or break whatever I get.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I know, excuses, excuses! I just don't know what to do or how to change my eating habits. I know what I should eat, being a diabetic most of my life we do get lectured by the dietitians on what and how to eat. I could probably be a dietitian myself, I count <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">carbs</span> to figure out how much insulin to give myself so it's not from lack of knowledge.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">So this is it for now, I've just got to try to cut out the evening snacking and try to eat better foods. Easier said than done!</span>LesleyMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04400365991247170100noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107687980851902727.post-73447073565459940302010-06-15T15:33:00.000-04:002010-06-15T15:33:00.611-04:00Back to reality!While I was away with my girls I enjoyed every moment. It was so nice to just have two children and myself to worry about. You don't realize just how busy your life is until you've had a chance to get away from it for awhile then come back to it.<br />
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I didn't want to come back! My stomach was tied in knots the day before I left, I just didn't want the simplicity of the vacation to end. We were not on any sort of schedule, all of us slept in till after nine in the morning and <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Lyla</span> actually was the one that stayed in bed the longest. We'd putter around in the mornings, get our breakfast, get dressed and get the girls ready for the day then <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Lyla</span> would usually need a nap so we'd wait until she was awake before we'd go anywhere. Each of us only had one drawer of clothes so there wasn't a mountain of laundry piled in front of the washer like there always is in my house. Mom ended up doing most of it anyways so I got a real nice break from that.<br />
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I even finally had a day alone with Amy. I hardly ever get to do anything just with her. I took her shopping and we went to a movie, after that I let her play some games in the arcade, we had a ball. For a couple of the days we didn't even go anywhere and I was perfectly content to do absolutely nothing, except of course feed and clothe the children.<br />
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For a couple of days after I got back on PEI, I was depressed and moody. I came back and saw just how crazy our house is. Ian goes non stop when he's awake. We have locks on the tops of all the doors to keep him in the house so he doesn't escape without us noticing. He climbs every surface in our house including the windows and the stove. Aside from that, Maggie the puppy, is just crazy! We can't have her in the house with the kids at all because she still nips at the kids and tries to chew on anything she can get at. She drives me absolutely nuts! Then I look around at my house and see how much work needs to be done. There are dents and scratches in the walls and doors and I know there's no point in fixing them right now until Ian gets out of his hyper destructive phase, if he ever does! I have no <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">ni</span>ck knacks around because they'd all be broken and hardly have anything on the walls for fear they'd be smashed. Plus there's clutter everywhere, I'm not a good housekeeper at all and I just feel like I need to get a dump truck and just dump everything in it without looking at it. <br />
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I know I'm blessed. I know I have things other people don't have and that I'm lucky that I'm not dealing with really sick children and watching them suffer. I know all of that. It's just really hard to see the good things in life some days. I just pray for strength, I always have.<br />
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On the other hand, when I picked up Ian from daycare yesterday, he said "Hello Mama" without being prompted! Finally pairing words, that made mama happy!LesleyMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04400365991247170100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107687980851902727.post-58909116716447971372010-06-10T22:07:00.000-04:002010-06-10T22:07:24.870-04:00Wonderful Newfoundland Vacation!<span style="color: #6aa84f; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I had hoped to continue on with my last blog everyday while I was vacationing in Newfoundland but of course the Internet wasn't cooperating while we were there and when it was working either mom or Amy was on the computer or I was busy doing something else.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #6aa84f; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">So Anyways, I've now learned that driving across Newfoundland with a 16 month old is not a good idea and I doubt I'll be doing it ever again! The lovely nursery rhyme CD that we played for <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Lyla</span> on the first part of our trip had mysteriously went missing, much like mom's ferry tickets, plus <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Lyla</span> kept throwing her soother around in the car and we couldn't find it. We had to make frequent stops so that <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Lyla</span> could get out of her car seat and have a little crawl around. At this point, germs on dirty floors in restaurants and gas stations were the last things on my mind since she needed her freedom to roam and was expressing it frequently in the car.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #6aa84f; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Finally we arrived at our destination at around 7 or 8pm to the house mom and dad bought just a couple of months ago. It's a lovely house but smaller than I'm used to and I can't believe the prices of the houses!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #6aa84f; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">My home has changed so much since I moved away when I was 18 years old. Now there are houses in what used to be my favourite play or hang out spots. MY rock that's on the beach in front of my former house, the one I always would sit on to watch the sunset is now covered with a pile of rocks serving as a break wall that blocks off the whole beach that we used to be able to walk on right up to the point where a river meets and ocean. I brought Amy down my old road and showed her where I grew up and these places I used to play in and I was sad that they weren't there anymore.....Oh the memories!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #6aa84f; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Aside from the physical changes, all of my close friends are gone. I didn't visit one friend and I've just lost touch with the ones who are still there. It really didn't bother me though, I was very happy to see a lot of my family and my parents friends who I've known practically all my life.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #6aa84f; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Newfoundland is such a unique place. Where else would you be called "my lover", "my darling", "my sweetheart", by the waitress or the convenience store clerk? Just interacting with my fellow <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Newfies</span> again was such a heartwarming experience, I've forgotten what it was like to really be on "<span class="goog-spellcheck-word">Da</span> Rock".</span>LesleyMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04400365991247170100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107687980851902727.post-66112207390983907932010-06-03T22:32:00.001-04:002010-06-04T07:26:52.865-04:00Road Trip!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjssSN_ViAZ2EMvy8QNigC3ryJA3wuYuV1cDF2gzw-3YmUeizyOJbVCyt5AOrXXUSvLUUE0Su1dLgOHl1ks5lHR1UjoYUSOSXJmxhinYTCHMcsXq5a7c4B7ddmPgxAd9T7RzLTZC5EjKMoo/s1600/125.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" gu="true" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjssSN_ViAZ2EMvy8QNigC3ryJA3wuYuV1cDF2gzw-3YmUeizyOJbVCyt5AOrXXUSvLUUE0Su1dLgOHl1ks5lHR1UjoYUSOSXJmxhinYTCHMcsXq5a7c4B7ddmPgxAd9T7RzLTZC5EjKMoo/s200/125.JPG" width="200" /></a></div><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">On Monday Amy, Lyla, my mom, and I started on the long trek from Prince Edward Island to Newfoundland. We had about a 5 hour drive, which included a ferry from PEI to North Sydney, where we caught the night crossing of the ferry.</span><br />
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<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj87buUHDSMFFbAvRuxweNYSFINX0tl_vVIawXQhjE_TygFzsIY08eV8X_vDzo7BVgUYP0omdcZx689OFhDGwmsDjSOgQkDBa5SrMYCs4f-1YLtv6xs_S1FZykXkalR849BktxBHg4KEI4_/s1600/316.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" gu="true" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj87buUHDSMFFbAvRuxweNYSFINX0tl_vVIawXQhjE_TygFzsIY08eV8X_vDzo7BVgUYP0omdcZx689OFhDGwmsDjSOgQkDBa5SrMYCs4f-1YLtv6xs_S1FZykXkalR849BktxBHg4KEI4_/s200/316.jpg" width="149" /></a><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">It wasn't too bad the first day, we caught the ferry from PEI to Nova Scotia first which was nice because Lyla was able to get around a bit before our long drive. Our drive along the way was filled with Nursery Rhymes blaring from the stereo system and me and mom trying to shush Amy to be quiet so Lyla would take a nap. Finally, we were at North Sydney early and was able to get supper, then spent a couple of hours on the loading dock while waiting to board. Upstairs in a waiting area there was nobody around so we pitched camp there for the time being. It was filled with vacant chairs and a tv playing Wheel of Fortune, a huge room and luckily it was all bared off and safe for Lyla to crawl around. She was pretty cute there trying to push her stroller around in the waiting area. Since nobody was around I was able to change her and dress her in her night clothes.</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG9Tp9Yq3G61nC-Wp4ZwUnELVKuW3i2jrIhSzaSKuBeIDZYfQMdZi6Ynde4OOp9_8v9BGbBBciUywH5C54pQcDpRTBumF_muF6higohfsUrLC6TsgrNyX4dozLo7zwPYiR5jYzbDs16xaA/s1600/307.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" gu="true" height="149" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG9Tp9Yq3G61nC-Wp4ZwUnELVKuW3i2jrIhSzaSKuBeIDZYfQMdZi6Ynde4OOp9_8v9BGbBBciUywH5C54pQcDpRTBumF_muF6higohfsUrLC6TsgrNyX4dozLo7zwPYiR5jYzbDs16xaA/s200/307.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Finally we went to board the new ferry, mom had the tickets in her hand a few moments earlier and we were looking at the number of our cabin. A lady stops us to scan our tickets and mom searches her pockets, can't find em. She looks in her purse, in the glove box, the floor, everywhere and they're not there. The lady finally had to pull us over to the side so the other cars could get by and mom finally had to admit to defeat and go back into the terminal to get her tickets replaced. Luckily, it was no trouble and we got on the ferry no problem. Once we get settled in our cabin, which are tiny compared to the older ferries, we notice that Lyla didn't have her soother. Any mother knows that when your child is addicted to a soother, breaking them of it while travelling is not going to help your already frayed nerves. So me and Amy go back down to the car to get the soother. I drop it off to mom and she says she'll stay in the cabin with Lyla and try to cuddle her to sleep. Me and Amy go off to check out the new boat, Amy was so excited. So we found a little snack shop on the boat that was selling hot dogs and chips and we sit down to eat. A few minutes later my cell phone rings. Mom's calling from the cabin and says that Lyla's soother is missing and she's searched the entire room.</span></div><br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxMX8k40n4EHtYNpOYSKrygxDNgVG0fd9Itix28xySWN5l5aXLzlUlJY8u1xaQQ2N-VfSgw3YeJOTZJqiWLDDDZj5aWaX1iSgzMFxyPSKDUDpZzYpnS6x27gEKz1TnuRsMi6XGXxyOtLBg/s1600/134.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" gu="true" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxMX8k40n4EHtYNpOYSKrygxDNgVG0fd9Itix28xySWN5l5aXLzlUlJY8u1xaQQ2N-VfSgw3YeJOTZJqiWLDDDZj5aWaX1iSgzMFxyPSKDUDpZzYpnS6x27gEKz1TnuRsMi6XGXxyOtLBg/s200/134.JPG" width="150" /></a><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Mom was changing Lyla on the bed and baby had the soother in her hand playing with it. Mom ripped her bed apart looking for it, got down and looked under the bunks and even went back to make sure Lyla didn't poke it into her diaper, she often tries to rip the diaper out from underneath her while we're changing her. So I did all of the same things with no luck. Finally we cease the search and lay down to try to get to sleep then mom starts searching her bra for the soother thinking maybe Lyla poked it down there because she picks at everything. Then a lightbulb went off in my head and I snatched Lyla up off the floor and start patting her down, low and behold there's the sookie in the leg of her sleepers. Thank the Lord! The soother didn't make much of a difference though, we were still up half the night with her. She bunked with me on a small cabin bunk and kept taking up half of the bed, oh my!</span></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Other then that, the ferry ride was very smooth and we were very impressed. I was so glad to get off the boat though, then we had the long 10 hour drive across Newfoundland but right now I have to go to bed!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">To be continued....</span>LesleyMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04400365991247170100noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107687980851902727.post-59676653961262489802010-05-26T20:53:00.001-04:002010-05-26T20:54:34.727-04:00Overwhelmed!<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Our lives are busy at the best of times with all the kids day to day things, work and keeping up the house. This month has just been crazy! I'm really starting to feel the toll this month has taken on me, I just want to be alone and do nothing for awhile.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I've been busy at work trying to get the year ends for two companies ready for the accountants aside from doing the payables, the payroll, and getting the Lodge's paperwork in order for the sale of the company. Our house has been turned upside down for the past two weeks. Last year we had our basement finished but ran out of money to get the basement stairs and a few little things finished down there. Finally we've been able to go ahead and get the stairs done, and it's looking wonderful but it's been crazy at the house with a workman here trying to work while Ian has his IBI therapy going on down there every morning from Monday to Friday and with Curtis home everyday with Lyla. Ian has been very hard to manage because it's upsetting his usual routine and of course all the power tools around are really fun for him to play with........climbing up on the table saw! Ian has also been actively trying to bolt from the house and we've had to put locks up high on all the outside doors. Plus since the stairs finally has carpet on them, Lyla now likes to climb them so I guess a baby gate is in order. Aside from that, it has been crazy trying to keep the house clean. Dust everywhere! Downstairs is now our living area, the tv is there and a big sitting area and all the kids toys are down there so it's just been hard to relax at all.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Aside from that we had Mother's Day this month, and my mother's birthday. I was really happy to celebrate both events and happy to get a manicure and pedicure gift certificate from Curtis. Then last weekend we had the fundraising softball tournament held for Ian. It was a wonderful day on Saturday and I was overjoyed with the support from volunteers. It was just really busy the week leading up to that because we were fundraising and trying to get door prizes donated from local businesses. Plus, I played my first 3 softball games ever and boy was I sore on Sunday!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Now I'm getting ready to go to Newfoundland next Monday with mom, Lyla and Amy. I'm really looking forward to the trip since it'll be a break for me from all that's happening here. Even though it'll be busy with the two girls at least it's a change and I won't have to think too much.....I hope! The problem is trying to think and do everything I need to do at work and at home for us to go for a week......argh!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">On top of all of that, I'm also switching Ian to another daycare. At his current daycare the Owner has been particularly difficult to deal with lately. Since we required them to have a Special Needs Assistant for Ian at the daycare for 4 hours a day during the afternoons three days a week she's been very stringent on the times he's there. She's getting paid by the government for the SNA plus I'm paying for his spot in daycare out of my own pocket yet she'll only let him be there from 12-4pm so I have had to leave work early to pick him up. She wouldn't let him stay for another hour without an SNA plus when Ian's tutor went to drop him off one afternoon the owner made her wait out in the car with him for 5 minutes because they were early! So now a new daycare has opened in Montague and we're switching on May 31st, the day I'm going to Newfoundland so I have to make sure everything is in order there.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I'm sorry about all the ramblings here but I just needed to download all of this, I just feel like I'm wound up so tightly with all the stuff I need to deflate.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Just breathe!</span>LesleyMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04400365991247170100noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107687980851902727.post-82379962451006790762010-05-13T12:38:00.001-04:002010-05-13T12:39:16.507-04:00Mama!<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Ian had been saying Mama since he was about 8 months old. I remember drilling it into his head every time I sat him in his high chair to feed him and Mama was his first word. When Autism took ahold of him Mama went away, and Dada became one of the only words he'd say, even calling me Dada some days when I'd pick him up from daycare. Mama started coming back though recently but it has been very few and far between. Even Poppy is getting greeted when he comes through the door and Nanny and Nana hears their name from his mouth more times than I hear a Mama.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Yesterday, I picked up Ian from daycare. I saw him across the yard playing around and called out his name, he looked over at me and said "Mama" with a great big grin on his face and started running towards me. It was the biggest reaction I've gotten from him since we've started taking him to daycare. I was so happy and started running to meet him. You could almost hear the inspirational music playing in the background like something from a movie, mother and child running to meet each other. Then about a foot apart, I open my arms for that big hug and Ian stops dead in his tracks and turns to run the other way. I finally got <span class="goog-spellcheck-word">ahold</span> of him and gave him a big hug and kiss, which he abruptly wiped off!</span><br />
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<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">My boy said Mama at three and a half years old and I couldn't be more proud......Mama's back!</span>LesleyMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04400365991247170100noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5107687980851902727.post-46948431671702014862010-05-10T22:21:00.000-04:002010-05-10T22:21:11.952-04:00Happy Birthday to my Wonderful Mother!<span style="color: #6aa84f; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I struck gold when I was born to my mother. God knew that I'd need a strong woman like her to lean on when I was weak and needed guidance. So many battles she's fought on my behalf to get me through school, to get me through Diabetes, to get me through marriage, child birth and divorce. How can I ever show my gratitude to someone who's done everything for me without ever been asked?</span><br />
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<span style="color: #6aa84f; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">When my first marriage failed and I was left with nothing, had no home, no money and a child to raise, she was there for me, gave me a home, did everything they could to supplement me so that I wouldn't have to live on welfare. I often thought to myself, "why is she doing this, I didn't ask for this". She could've just let me go and fend for myself as best as I could, but she didn't. She knew if she had the means to help then she wouldn't see me and my baby do without, struggle for grocery money, rent and to put gas in the car.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #6aa84f; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">She dragged me out of a dark hole more than once and never ever turned her back on me. No matter how much she didn't like what I did, she never gave up on me. She knew I was better than the life I was living and helped me to see that life can be good if you just let it be.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #6aa84f; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I love you mom! I would not be where I am today if it weren't for you helping me to get here. I appreciate everything you do for me and my family and I hope I never take advantage of you. I only pray that I can be half the mother to my children as you were to me and that you know how much of a blessing you are to our family.</span><br />
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<span style="color: #6aa84f; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Happy Birthday and thank you!</span>LesleyMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04400365991247170100noreply@blogger.com3