My family

Monday, August 8, 2011

Feeling Useless!

I'm in a dark mood today.  Mostly because I'm not feeling well and I'm frustrated because I don't want to feel this way, I want to keep up with my children, and work, and life but I feel like I'm stuck like a broken down car.

Last week I had to go to the dentist for an emergency appointment because of an absessed tooth.  He put me on two types of antibiotics and is making an appointment with the dental surgeon to get one possibly two of my back teeth out.  Then last weekend my fingers swelled so much I had to get my wedding rings cut off, then the next day I noticed my feet and hands were swelling and I could feel fluid in my legs.  I went into emerg and they put me on Losec but to take it as needed because he wasn't sure if the water retention was from all the meds I'm taking or something else which will have to be investigated.  I took it for three days and I lost 6 pounds of fluid.  I haven't taken it for the last couple of days but I can feel my feet swelling and the fluid in my legs again.

I've lived 22 years with diabetes with no complications to date, I've been very lucky to be able to say that.  Now I wonder if those 22 years have finally reared it's ugly head and will start causing me problems.  The past year I haven't been myself, I'm always tired and sick with some sort of infection.  It's so frustrating trying to live your life, looking so young and feeling so old, people expect me to act like a healthy 33 year old but I'm not!  I've seen 70 year olds with more energy than I have.

It just saddens me and I don't know what I can do to feel better.