This is the first time in my life when I've finally felt pure happiness and contentedness to be where I am and doing what I'm doing. I mean I truly feel like this is where I'm supposed to be right now. I'm not worrying about my future, I'm not fretting about my past and I'm not getting depressed about my current situation or the problems of my children. I don't even know if I can explain how I feel, I just feel like there's a growing in my chest, I've never felt it before.
So much of my life I've been down and depressed and most of the time I didn't even realize it. When I look back on my life, so much of it I've been in this kind of fog, just going through the motions of life but not really being happy about anything. I was always wondering what I should be doing. Do I need to get a different job? Should I move? What will make me happy?
I still have days where I'm tired and life is overwhelming and I just feel like I'm at my witts end, but I'm not sad. The situation passes and life goes on. I dont' have a lot of money in the bank, both of our cars need replacing, and there's thing that need to be done around this house that I simply can't afford to do right now, and I could be worrying about it, but I'm not. I just feel like it's all going to come when it comes and this is all I can do right now. So don't worry!
there will always be things to be done around the house and almost everyone has doubts about should they stay or move same goes for jobs but the most important thing is that we find that peace that you are now finding. It takes some people longer than others to do that but when you do everything becomes clearer. Lesley I enjoy reading your blog, and I beleive that in writing this blog is also making things clearer for you ...a therapy in itself ... Back in the day it was called a journal and I found my clarity in filling the pages of one.... take care Noella X
ReplyDeletemy dear daughter..i am so glad you are finally finding happiness.I always told you like the apostle Paul "i have learned whatever state I am in,to be content".Take life as it comes,learn from mistakes,be patient & most of all believe that there is a God who loves you & cares about everything you do.He will guide you & protect you...He has already!
ReplyDeleteMom
That growing in your chest is the little baby alien from the movie of the same name. You'd best be getting it checked before it explodes from your chest cavity in a flurry of blood and bones with large angry teeth and a strong desire to kill humans.
ReplyDeleteX-Man
Hey Jay, you know I know your sick twisted mind anywhere!
ReplyDelete